


Samidare

by gnaw_arteries



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:55:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27507202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gnaw_arteries/pseuds/gnaw_arteries
Summary: Kakashi dies during Team 7's first C-rank mission. How do Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke go on after that?Where Sakura has Trauma, Sasuke is angrier than ever and Naruto is just trying to hold them together.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 24





	1. Sakura's Guilt

Sakura lay in bed on her back, forearm beneath her neck, staring up at the ceiling. 

She’d been in bed for twelve hours now. The thought registered dimly and pricked somewhere, still she did not rise. The weight of the world seemed to pin her to the bed. She pulled the blankets up, turned on her side and tried to curl in deeper, closing her eyes to the dim winter light entering feebly in through the window. 

She awoke later. Checked the clock lying on the windowsill, noticed it had been fourteen hours since she had fallen into bed. She turned to the other side, mattress creaking, and closed her eyes, again. 

The next time, her eyes opened to some noise outside her bedroom. She immediately closed them again wishing for sleep to pull her into unconsciousness. It was not meant to be. 

Ino walked in through the door shattering the cocoon of quiet the room had gathered. She was loud and unwelcome. But she refused to stay away, even when all Sakura wanted to do was to stay in her bed with her eyes closed to escape the light of another day she did not want to face.

To her surprise, Ino was quiet- she did not start talking immediately. She did not try to pull away the blankets like she'd done before. She did not ask Sakura, yet again, to get out of bed. Sakura was immediately more awake than she wanted to be, mind already racing through thoughts she wanted to avoid. And when she spoke, her voice was low but edged in panic. 

“What’s happened Ino?”

“Sasuke and Naruto have returned from their mission.” Ino told her, placing a hand on Sakura’s shoulder.

Sakura sighed, “I suppose I need to get out of bed now.”

“Yes.” Ino said gently.

* * *

She didn’t want to. She wanted to remain in the quiet room, to be left alone. She wanted to be forgotten. To not exist. 

After Ino left, she sat up on her bed pondering whether she could move to the bathroom or not. She shrugged, lay back down on her side, mattress creaking and pulled the blankets over her head.

It had been exactly 1 month and 4 days since Kakashi had died.

 _Don’t think of that. Don’t think. Don’t think,_ she chided herself feeling the familiar panic beginning to well up in her chest.

It was no use. Tears began to flow easily, like a tap left open behind her eyes. They pooled up in the hollow between her eye and nose and when that hollow was full, they continued down past the corner of another eye into the pillow beneath her head. Her breathing became uneven as her chest constricted as an invisible hand squeezed her heart. 

She had never thought of Kakashi as someone who could fall. He’d seemed so infallible, so powerful. She’d relied on him to keep her safe and he was dead.

He was dead, dead, dead. 

Because of her. 

She could not get the image of his tall body collapsing to a side, as if he were a tree being felled, out of her mind. A wave of self-loathing rose inside her, so strong and so fast that she suddenly sat up in bed and clenched her fists in her hair, pulling at it, pulling at her skull. The pain of pulling her hair did nothing to counter the collapsing heart in her chest. She pulled harder. Her tears came faster. Her breath came in small gasps. She screamed at the base of her throat. 

Nothing helped. Nothing took away the awful image of his body falling in front of her, a senbon in the side of his neck. Him standing between her and the masked hunter-nin, him falling because she could not move. 

Him falling, falling, _falling_ and then lying deathly still. No last words, no eye crinkled in smile. A stillness. An unbelievable stillness of a body that moments before had been so infallible. 

All because of her. 

Her fault. Her fault. _Her fault._

If she hadn’t been so useless. 

If she had moved. 

If she had not relied so much on him. 

He gave his life to save hers. 

And she was useless. Useless. _Useless._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling a neurotic about this. I didn't like the way I just up and posted it, without trying to make it as perfect as I can. Soo, I edited the original. 
> 
> Hope this communicates Sakura's state of mind better.


	2. Sasuke's Softness

Naruto and Sasuke found her like that- sobbing in bed, elbows on folded knees, hands clenched white in long pink hair. As the door opened, Naruto immediately rushed to put his arms around her shaking shoulders. Sasuke walked into the room slower, hands in pockets and eyebrows pulled together.

“Sakura-chan,” Naruto pleaded.

She said nothing. But the sobs came faster. 

“Sakura-chan, please...” He lifted an arm and tried to pull her hands away from her hair. She wouldn’t let go. She pulled harder at her hair, pulled her knees closer to her chest and tucked her elbows between her legs and chest, tried to get smaller, tried to be small enough to not be there. But she was there. And Kakashi had died so she could be there.

“Please Sakura-chan, look at me. Just look at me. Please.” Naruto placed his hands on either side of her head and nudged her head up so she would face him. She let her head rise, but her eyes were still clenched shut, tears leaking out.

“Sakura-chan, please open your eyes and look at me.”

She was exhausted. She wanted to be alone. The pain was so much worse when they were there. But she couldn’t fight him, couldn’t deny him or Sasuke anything. They’d both been alone, though in her self-absorption, she had only recently realized that. And because of her, they had lost Kakashi as well. The clenching in her chest became worse.

She opened her eyes to look at him.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. If I had not been so useless... I’m sorry. It’s unforgivable. Please forgive me. I don’t know how to make it better though. It’s all my fault. Please...” she choked out. She didn’t think it was possible but the tears came faster than before. 

Naruto put him arms around her again, tighter than before, her forehead against his shoulder, his chin on hers. 

"Shh.. We were all there. It's not just you who's responsible." His voice was thicker and she felt a tear drop onto her the thin shirt covering her shoulder. 

Sasuke placed a hand on each of their shoulders and forced them apart. His face was twisted and his voice was harsh.

"Are we doing this again? What's the use of crying _now_?" 

Naruto removed an arm from around Sakura and clutched Sasuke’s upper arm. "Don't be like that." 

He pulled at the arm he had clutched and Sasuke was jerked onto the bed. Then Naruto wrapped the same arm around Sasuke and pulled him closer. Sasuke glared at him. Naruto glared back and before Sasuke could pull back, Naruto gestured with his eyes towards Sakura. Sasuke continued to glare for a moment but then he said. 

"If you want forgiveness, you have to earn it. You can't get it if you just stay in bed and sleep all day."

Naruto pushed him away. "Why are you so harsh all the time?"

Sasuke, who hadn't been expecting to be pushed off, landed off the bed on his butt, Sharingan ablaze. 

"How much longer is she going to be like this? They're threatening to break our team because she is too cowardly to get out of bed!"

Sakura froze. She hadn’t thought things could get worse. Her body, mind and confidence was in shambles. She’d lost Kakashi already. Now she could lose Naruto and Sasuke as well. Her heart clenched tighter than she’d thought was possible. Her hands balled into fists.

But maybe it was better this way. They would be free of her. If she didn't go out there, she couldn't make any more mistakes. No one else would sacrifice their life for her. 

* * *

Later that morning, she jumped when Sasuke appeared behind her, just as she started walking down the street to the Hokage's tower. 

"It's the first time you've deigned to get out of bed in a month. What are you doing?"

She didn't look at him after a quick glance to see who was behind her. 

"I'm going to resign."

"You really are a worse coward that I thought you were." He took soft steps and stood in front of her. His face was soft. He grabbed her upper arm in a bruising grip. Her body shuddered and then they were in an isolated training ground. She looked up at him.

"Absolutely spineless." he told her. A breeze brushed past them. Long stalks of grass, weighted by flowers at their ends, swayed in gentle motions.

"Normally, I wouldn't care. I'd be happy to get rid of your fawning and sniveling." His eyes turned slowly red, Sharingan spinning, soft as his voice and face. 

"Unfortunately, in this case, I need to intervene. Dobe is attached to you. We can't get a different team mate. I need to make Chunin. So you're not resigning." 

He still hadn't let go of her arm. She had a protest building up within her. He saw it before she could open her lips and continued before she could start.

"To help your airhead understand how serious I am about this, I am going to teach you a lesson."

He pulled her into a genjutsu. It was soft as the rest of him and she wondered at these features, soft gestures and cutting words, that he had never demonstrated before.

Then she was lost in nightmarish visions of Kakashi and blood. And the screaming began. It continued for a long time. 

When she was conscious of the soft breeze and flowers again, the sky was tinted with the deep blue of dusk and she was alone in the deserted training ground. She dragged herself home, arms around her middle, sobbing uncontrollably, face lowered.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited this. I want this story to be good. 
> 
> Soo Sasuke does to Sakura what Itachi did to him. 
> 
> What do you think?


	3. Team 7 Coping

When she awoke the next morning, after a night devoted to nightmares of blood and Kakashi, her head was on Naruto’s arm who was asleep next to her. Sasuke was on her other side. He wasn’t touching her but he sat close with his back against the wall, knees bent and eyes shut. He seemed asleep, but as her eyes glanced off his face, he opened his eyes and looked at her. She shuddered. She couldn’t meet his eyes. She rose, trying not to disturb Naruto, crawled past Sasuke, trying to put as much distance between them as she could. 

Sasuke's eyes followed her as she walked across the room to her closet. It was unnerving. Once, she’d have been delighted to know that he was watching her, but now, she wished she could go back to the times when he had ignored her and Kakashi had been alive. 

_Don’t go there. Don’t think of blood and Kakashi._

Silent tears began to fall. She stood facing her closet, heart broken, full of self-hatred, and afraid of a person she had thought she loved more than anyone in the world. 

Suddenly, she felt movement behind her. Her hands shook, she clenched into the clothes folded in her closet. Sasuke stood close behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't cry." he said, in the same soft voice she knew so well from her nightmare. 

Her heart clenched tighter, and her eyes grew hazy with tears. She jerked out of his grasp, and ran to the bathroom. She locked herself in and turned the water on so he wouldn’t hear her sobs. 

\---

When she had cried her heart out under the hot water, she walked out of the bathroom in her robe and rummaged again in her closet. She could hear voices from outside her bedroom- Naruto and Sasuke were still there. Thinking of them brought a wave of exhaustion. She sat on the floor to pull on her pants, and put on a shirt. Then she wrapped her arms around her middle, brought her knees as close to her chest as she could and sat there, wet hair dripping onto her shirt, willing some energy to appear and help her deal with the two boys waiting for her.

Energy didn’t appear, but Naruto did. When he saw Sakura, he sat on the floor next to her, as if sitting on floors with dripping hair was something they did everyday. He didn’t talk, just placed a warm arm around her shoulder. 

After a bit he said, “Will you come and eat some ramen with us? It’s the first time teme has bought and I don’t want to eat it cold.”

She nodded tiredly hoping that finishing ramen would help get rid of them. He helped her stand up, put his arm around her shoulder again and lead her towards the living room. 

Sasuke sat on the couch, elbows resting on knees and hands crossed under his chin. Three packets of Iciraku Ramen waited on the table in front of him. Naruto guided her to the couch as well. 

“Scoot over,” he told Sasuke. Sasuke gave him a look, but scooted over. Naruto sat Sakura next to Sasuke and himself next to her. She tried to sit as far from Sasuke as she could, while making sure Naruto noticed nothing unusual. They each picked up a packet and began to eat. Sakura ate carefully, keeping all her attention on the food to prevent her thoughts from wandering. The boys didn’t talk either. It was unnaturally silent. 

Naruto and Sasuke both finished before her. And when she was done, she opened her mouth to thank them for the food, but Naruto beat her to it. 

“Thanks for eating with us Sakura-chan. Would you like some tea before going to bed?” 

She wanted them gone. She wanted to be alone. She was feeling more energetic with some food inside her, but mentally, she still felt dead and didn’t want to think or talk about anything. But she couldn’t argue. 

She nodded. He gave her a look with a smile so wide and sincere that it hurt. Then he bounded up and rushed to the kitchen. She could hear him moving utensils and filling water. Sakura leaned back in the couch and sighed quietly. A few more minutes and she’d be alone. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Sasuke was staring at her. She closed her eyes and wished he’d look away. 

When Naruto returned with the tea, they sat silently again, as they had before. 

“Where did you learn to make tea dobe? I thought you only knew how to make ramen.” Sasuke said.

This was the change that a month had wrought on Sasuke. He talked more, though he was still curt and cold. But the bond between him and Naruto had changed in some way that Sakura could not understand. Before, he’d never have made such a remark. And Sakura doubted he’d say such a thing to anyone but Naruto. She wondered what had happened to them, other than Kakashi... Her heart clenched again, but she fought the panic rising in her chest. 

_A little longer, they’ll soon be gone._

Unfortunately, it was not meant to be. When they’d finished the tea, Naruto turned to her and gently said, “I don’t want to go home and be alone. Do you mind if I and the teme stay here?”

She knew what he was trying to do and damn him, she knew that he knew that she couldn’t say no when he asked like that. She stared at him a minute, trying not to fall apart. He looked at her, expression open and kind, eyes and body warm. Slowly, she nodded. 

He smiled again with a warmth that made her heart unclench a little. 

“Let’s play a little game before we sleep, ne?” he asked.

She knew what game he meant. They’d discovered early during the past month that Shogi helped her keep her thoughts away from all the things that turned on the tap behind her eyes. She nodded. It was better than pretending to sleep while her thoughts and memories tormented her. 

They started with Naruto playing against Sakura. Sakura focused on the game as she had focused on her food: relentlessly. She had discovered the trick to controlling her thoughts was to dig herself a deep pit out of distracting thoughts and so prevent tormenting thoughts from finding her. She focused on the game until there was no room in her mind for anything else. She was so busy thinking that she didn’t notice Naruto was playing against her until she completely decimated him. 

Then, when the game was over and she finally had no thoughts to hide behind, she raised her head to look up at him. The world came back. She was in her apartment, her parents were gone, Kakashi had died to save her. Her team-mates who should have hated her were there, trying to make her life more bearable. She felt her heart being clenched again. The pressure behind her eyes built up again, but Naruto was looking at her with a smile. A smile warm as the light of the sun. His face was open, eyes slightly worried, but he was looking at her with his smile laying his heart open to her. He didn’t hate her. He cared. And that made the pressure behind her eyes worse. Her eyes filled and overfilled. Two heavy tears fell past her cheeks. But before she could breathe and make it worse, Naruto was by her side, a warm arm draped around her shoulder, face close to hers so their foreheads were almost touching. His blue eyes looked into hers, sending a warmth through her chest. 

“Come on,” he urged, smiling slightly, “You can’t stop until you hand the teme’s ass to him.”

Sasuke scoffed and began to put pieces on the board. Sakura nodded shakily and rubbed the backs of her hands across her eyes. 

It was the same. She withdrew into the Shogi game until there was no room in her mind for anything else. Until she forgot she was herself. Throughout it all, Naruto kept his arm around her shoulders, offering his warmth and his comfort. 

When it was over, Naruto jumped up excitedly, “Yatta!” He made a face at Sasuke. “See teme, the last times were not flukes. She killed you. You didn’t stand a chance. Phoo!”

Sasuke picked some pieces and threw them at Naruto. “Hn. Whatever loser.” 

They played until they could not keep their eyes open anymore. Naruto led her back to bed and let her lie close to him again, her head on his shoulder. Sasuke sat as he had before. The room was quiet. But it was not empty and Naruto’s warmth was relaxing. Sakura slept. 

She woke up twice in the night shaking and sobbing. Naruto held her until she grew calm enough to sleep again, whispering meaningless nothings softly as if she were an injured kitten. Sasuke remained quiet, but he had laid down on her other side and put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed bruisingly, waking her up from one of the nightmares when she couldn’t wake on her own. 

In the morning, they made her leave the bed behind in favor of breakfast. Surprisingly, it was Sasuke who declared he would not stand ramen for breakfast and made eggs for them all. And Naruto coaxed her out of bed by informing her it was the first time that Sasuke had prepared breakfast for them. She groaned and wished they’d leave, but she left the bed and ate, something she hadn’t been able to do for the past week while they’d been away on a mission. 

After breakfast, Naruto and Sasuke suggested training. She wanted to decline firmly and bury herself in her blankets. This had worked for the past month. But today was a day of firsts. Sasuke's eyes bored into her face, echoes of Kakashi screaming rose in her head. Sakura froze, then shivered violently.

Naruto was looking pleadingly at her, “They're threatening to break our team up if we cannot work together. Please Sakura-chan, I don’t want to be on any other team. I even tolerate the teme because you’re on the same team. I don’t want to be separated.” 

“No.” she gasped, through rigid muscles.

“Get ready then,” Sasuke commanded. “The dobe and I will return here with weapons and gear in 15 minutes.”

She nodded, eyes falling to the floor. 

Naruto’s smile returned and his shoulders relaxed. He placed a finger beneath her chin lifting her face towards him, “Don’t worry Sakura-chan, I won’t allow them to break us up. I just need you and teme here to support me a little.”

“Dobe,” Sasuke scoffed. 

* * *

Sakura decided to take the same approach to practice as she took to Shogi: focus so sharp that she cut her own personality out. They stretched and sparred. Sakura focused on her muscles and movement and opponents. She lasted longer in the spars than she did before. But Naruto and Sasuke could still wipe the floor with her. She felt tears of anger and despair rising inside.

“I need to get stronger” she told them, with a fist clenched over her heart. “I cannot go on as I did before. I don’t want to be left behind. I don’t want to watch your backs and have you protect me. I want to be able to protect myself and you guys.”

Naruto and Sasuke shared a look. 

“We’ll help you out Sakura-chan, the teme and I,” Naruto said immediately. “Kaka-” He cut himself off before he could utter his name. “We’ll get stronger together, you’ll see.”

* * *

After training, they collapsed beneath a tree. It was a day of beauty: warm sunshine in winter and sky a deep blue. The grass, blanketed by a layer of chakra Sakura was holding, was soft and warm under them. A dense silence filled their ears. 

Naruto, bless his heart, was asleep within minutes. Sakura rested against his stomach and stared up at the light falling on the tree above them. Sasuke rested with his back against the tree, tearing at the grass around him, restless even with peace enfolding them like a blanket. 

Sakura thought this was Sasuke- inundated by guilt at allowing himself a moment's respite because he felt he didn't deserve it. Always dragged by ghosts, memories, regrets and questions to a dark night, even when the sun was shining around them. He lived like that. There was no other way for him. 

She thought she could understand him a little better now, with the weight of Kakashi's guilt weighing her down. But she also understood how much she did not understand him. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited this chapter.
> 
> Naruto's such a ray of sunshine. I love writing him being all warm and caring.
> 
> What do you guys think?


	4. Naruto's Nosiness

Naruto snuck into Hiruzen's office.

"Can I talk to you for a bit jiji?"

Hiruzen looked over the boy’s determined face and knew immediately what he'd ask.

"I cannot make any promises Naruto. The matter is yet to be discussed with the council. Kakashi was a Jounin sensei. We do not have many people who can fulfill that role permanently."

"I do not care if we do not have a fixed Jounin sensei. But please do not separate us jiji! Sakura-chan is in a really bad situation and so is Sasuke-teme, even though he does not show it. And they are my only friends jiji. I already lost Kakshi-sensei. Please do not separate me from them as well. Please jiji, I-"

At this point his voice cracked and he could not force any words past the lump in his throat. Hiruzen sighed. 

"I’ll see what I can do."

* * *

Later when Hiruzen was out for lunch, Naruto snuck back in and hid in the closet he knew jiji kept his pervy books in. He'd heard that a council meeting was scheduled for after lunch. He didn't know what he was planing to do if they decided to split his team, but he was sure he could make something up as he went.

He remained in the cramped, dark place, barely breathing as he heard people file in. 

They discussed some boring village matters before they finally started discussing Team 7. 

"The team needs to be split. I’d recommend ANBU level training for the Kyuubi jinchuriki and the last Uchiha. The girl has good charka control but poor reserves. Her IQ is very high though. She’s best suited for medical ninjutsu or as a genjutsu specialist."

He hated the way they talked about his team like they were not people. He tried to burst out of the closet, but realized that the shadows held him tightly and he couldn't move a muscle. He could do nothing but listen as different people commented.

"The Uchiha kid is a flight risk. At the moment, only the bonds with his team-mates tie him to the village. If we break the team up, he’ll be a greater flight risk." someone else said.

"The same is true for the Uzumaki Naruto. Studies have shown that socially well-adjusted jinchuriki are better able to control the tailed beasts in them. The greatest example is that of the jinchuriki of the eight-tails, the brother of the Raikage. It is rumored that he has complete control of his beast."

"The team was meant to be a front-line assault squad. Since we’ve already lost Hatake Kakashi, it is more vital than ever to train his genin squad. In a few years, if they’re trained well enough, we might be able to fill the hole that Hatake’s death has left in our ranks."

"Hatake has already come a long way in teaching the genin how to function as a team. The now need to be taught offensive techniques, increase their chakra reserve and control. Also, strategy-building and missions to help them apply all they learn."

"The best way to do this would be to pass them around on a rotation, in addition to specialized one-on-one training."

When the meeting ended, the door to the closet was flung open, and Naruto blinked sheepishly up at Sarutobi's stern face. But as he had known, jiji let him off with a stern warning, about blah blah, _ninja protocol_ and _dire consequences_ if he snuck into his office again.

* * *

They had been summoned and so after practice, they reported at the Hokage Tower. Naruto was the first one to walk through the door into the Hokage’s office, followed by Sakura and Sasuke. 

Sarutobi looked at the three Genin. Naruto and Sasuke standing on either side of Sakura. Their bodies were slightly tilted towards Sakura, so they didn’t face the Hokage directly. They seemed ready to catch her if she were to fall and she looked ready to fall. She had lost weight. Her hair hung lanky down her shoulders. She was wearing dark pants and a dark full-sleeved shirt instead of her usual red dress. 

Unexpectedly, Naruto didn’t immediately start chattering. Though Sarutobi could understand how Kakashi’s death had affected them. 

“The month of leave offered to you is over,” he began. “I’m sorry for the loss you have suffered. But now is the time to decide whether you want to continue being a Shinobi.” 

He stood up. Sakura hadn’t met his eyes since she’d entered the room. Her head hung down, eyes on the floor. He walked over to stand in front of them. “Genin Haruno Sakura, do you still want to continue being a Shinobi?” 

She looked up. There were violet bags under her dull eyes. Her voice was quiet. “Yes, Hokage-sama.”

Sarutobi nodded once again and then took a step back from them. “Hatake Kakashi was one of the best Jounin of this village,” he began. Sakura flinched and lowered her head further. Both the boys tensed. Sasuke glared at him slightly and Naruto began to open his mouth, but Sarutobi held up a hand. “He was capable and reliable. Over the years, I have come to respect his judgement immensely. And that’s how I trust that he did what he thought was best during the mission. He gave his life to save his Genin team. I respect that sacrifice and I would be disappointed if you did not. He meant for you three to live and to be a team that’d serve this village to the best of its capability. That is what I’ll do to honor his memory: I'll let you three remain a team for three more months. If by the end, your superiors think you cannot function well together, I'll separate you.”

He paused to let the words sink in. Sakura still would not look at him, but he could see a trail of tears down her cheeks. Naruto put an arm around her shoulders. Sasuke lowered his chin slightly so his hair falling over his eyes and his hands were clenched. 

“Will you, Genin of Team 7, help me respect and honor the wishes of Hatake Kakashi, Former Elite Jounin of Konohagakure?” he asked, his voice like a whip-crack.

They all straightened slightly. “Hai Hokage-sama!”

Sarutobi watched them with unfathomable ancient eyes. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiruzen has a soft-spot for Naruto.


	5. Team 7 Coping II

It was a week before the genin of team 7 were summoned by the Hokage again to inform them that they'd be training with Team Gai for the foreseeable future. 

They had spent the previous week training themselves raw. Sakura did not remember any time in her life when she had trained so thoroughly. The had established a fine routine. They all spent the night at Sakura’s house, in the large bed her parents had left behind. Naruto and Sasuke firmly believed that they were doing this only for Sakura, they didn’t like to admit to themselves that they found great comfort in being together as well. 

Nightmares were a daily occurrence. For Sakura, they had started only after Kakashi’s death.

But Sasuke was plagued even worse. Seeing Kakashi die and being powerless to stop it had re-awoken the worst of his nightmares. He realized how much interacting with Team 7 had helped him repress the nightmares that haunted him since the massacre of his whole clan by _that man_. 

Even though he had not realized it at that time, the prospect of training with Kakashi, bickering and competing with Naruto and even seeing Sakura for their morning trainings had brightened his life. Though he was careful not to consciously acknowledge their importance to him, subconsciously he had taken great comfort in not being alone anymore. 

But Kakashi’s death had forced him to come to terms with how much he cared about them all. He did not think he’d retain any sanity if he lost Naruto and Sakura, even though they annoyed him more than he could bear sometimes. Needing them made him furious. How could he avenge his clan if he filled part of the hole left by their absence with some other people? But when he had nightmares and Sakura awoke him before he saw the worst bits, he was more thankful than he could believe he had the capacity in his heart. He was constantly pulled in two directions: to let them in or to not let them in. For the time being he was consoling himself with the lie that the only reason he was with the idiot and the annoying fangirl was because they needed him. Though the idiot was a lot quieter and the fangirl was not a fangirl anymore.

* * *

Naruto was also torn. On one hand he felt Sasuke-teme had finally accepted and acknowledged him as a brother and that Sakura-chan didn’t hate him anymore. But on the other hand he felt guilty that he got their acceptance at the cost of Kakashi’s death. It felt like he was taking advantage of Kakashi’s death. It made him miserable. Kakashi sensei was one of the most important people in his life. How could he feel some degree of comfort in the acceptance his teammates gave him when it came at the cost of Kakashi’s life? And so he too tried to pretend that being close to his team did not comfort him as much as it really did. He tried to tell himself that the only reason he was there was because he could not, in good conscience, leave Sakura alone to deal with her guilt. 

He was careful to keep up his cheerful facade. He was the only glue holding their team, and Sakura, together at the moment. He knew if he relaxed even slightly, his team would drift apart and he'd be left alone all over again.

* * *

Sakura, on the other hand, was miserable because she was facing the first big loss of her life. She had finally realized that being a ninja meant more than she had even realized it did. She’d been happy to be on the same team as Sasuke (just Sakuke, not Sasuke-kun anymore). She had not realized that she needed to train and get stronger because as they progressed they’d get harder and harder missions and she’d need to carry her own weight and protect her team-mates. She had been a liability for her team and her team-leader had paid for her mistakes with his own life. She didn’t know how she would overcome this. She was breathing because he had given his life. She was alive because he was dead. There was no growing past this. She could not quit being a ninja. All she could do at this point was to live by Kakashi's teachings and make sure she never made the same mistakes again. She had to protect her comrades at any cost. She had to make sure no one ever had to do what Kakashi did for her.

* * *

And so Sakura finally found a reason to train as Naruto and Sasuke did- unflinchingly, unstoppably, obsessively. But the boys had also realized that getting stronger was the only way for Sakura to overcome enough of her guilt to be able to function on a day-to-day basis. She would not be normal by any means, but just okay enough to not fall apart constantly in public. And so training had become a refuge for Sakura, as it was for Sasuke and Naruto. 

They set all their hope on training. Sasuke trained in the hopes that he’d grow enough to be able to beat that traitorous man and avenge his clan. Naruto trained in the hopes that he’d be strong enough to be acknowledged by everyone and become Hokage. Sakura trained in the hopes that she’d grow enough to not be a liability to her team and that she’d be able to protect them as they protected her, as Kakashi had protected her.

* * *

When the nightmares woke Sasuke up before the sky was light, he’d usually not be able to fall asleep again. He’d leave the house and start throwing kunai at targets. Naruto and Sakura began to follow him whenever he left the room. A strange sense of camaraderie developed between the three of them. They were like a pack of little duckings, who had lost their mother duck and all they had left was each other. They had appropriated the old training ground in which Kakashi had taken them up as a genin team and near the memorial at which they had seen Kakashi spend so much of his time. Sakura had developed a habit of tracing Kakashi’s name and talking to the stone when she was too exhausted to continue training or when the guilt became too much to bear. 

They obsessively practiced all the team formations and strategies Kakashi had taught them until they could do them in their sleep. It made them feel slightly better, as if by learning all the things Kakashi had tried to teach them, they would keep a part of him alive. In a way, perhaps their new found camaraderie was also a tribute to Kakashi’s memory; they had not really understood his lesson on how those who abandoned their team-mates were worse than trash, except perhaps Naruto for whom the presence of people around him was a blessing he would never take for granted, having being deprived all his childhood of people with whom to share his life. But having Kakashi give his own life for one of them was the greatest embodiment of that lesson. Taking a team-mate for granted was a mistake none of them would make again consciously. 

Sasuke, torn between hating and loving his teammates in the desperate consuming way that Uchiha were known to feel these emotions had taken to teaching Sakura and Naruto Taijutsu as a means of expending his anger at them and also making sure they’d be strong enough, especially Sakura, to not hurt in the way they were hurting now. Sakura, for whom physical exertion had always been a weak point, was thoroughly beaten up day-after-day. But she also made great progress and the beatings helped her understand that Sasuke cared and in a twisted sense she felt glad that she was paying some price for her carelessness, thoughtlessness and naivety for romanticizing what being a ninja meant. Naruto was simply glad that Sasuke was trying to help and always hungry for training, he soaked it right up. 

Naruto, for his part had taken to teaching Sakura and Sasuke all he knew about traps and stealth. These precious skills honed by trial and error over a depressingly lonely childhood to play pranks that’d make people acknowledge his existence were now easily transferred to a ninja setting. They were driven by the regret that if they’d perhaps had more of these skills they might have been able to at least recover Kakashi’s body. When Sakura began reading books on the subject and explaining more strategies and ideas with Naruto, they began to make faster strides in their stealth as well. 

Sakura, who was good at reading and understanding and applying also began to read about chakra control, at which she was the best among the three and sharing exercises and tips to help the boys improve their control as well. 

For each little skill they learnt and improvement they made was accompanied with the feeling that if they’d had known this skill before that disastrous hellish mission, would they have been able to save Kakashi?

They were unforgiving in their spars. They beat each other into the ground everyday. It was the only way to apologize and to sleep at least a few hours a night.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please my pretties, leave some comments and kudos 🙌 🙋
> 
> Tell me what you loved, what you hated and what you were indifferent to.


	6. Team Gai

The first Jounin they trained with was Gai. They were told by the Hokage to show up at training ground 5 at a ridiculously early time in the morning. Not by their standards, team 7 had long since given up on the normal hours meant for training, the nightmares had seen to that. 

They showed up on time and watched bemusedly as Gai and Lee introduced themselves in their exuberant fashion. Gai’s declaration that he’d train his rivals’s Genin when Kakashi could not do it himself helped them warm up a little to the intensely effervescent man. They had not known Kakashi had a rival, much less a friend as this guy seemed to be. He didn’t look much like a ninja, but once training began, their doubts were quickly dispelled. 

Sakura who had taken to speaking as little as possible and hiding behind Naruto and Sasuke in order to avoid people changed completely when it was time to train. 

They threw themselves into Gai’s training regime fully. They had begun to develop a relationship with the kind of training that left their bodies battered, it was what chased away guilt and anger and brought some measure of peace and sleep. So they fully embraced the laps, the repetitions of calisthenics, and Taijutsu moves. 

Sasuke was also attracted to the idea of using a weapon because _that man_ used a sword and it would not do for Sasuke to be left helpless in case he had to face Kenjutsu. One day, he disappeared from Sakura’s house before the two could follow him and returned with a Katana. When Gai saw the Katana, he paired Sasuke off with TenTen. 

Sakura had a distaste for being paired with Lee because he was always fawning over her. (Oh, was this how repulsed and uncomfortable Sasuke had felt when she liked him and declared it every moment?) So she tended to pair off with Neji, who didn’t have a very nice opinion of her and tried to show her all her faults by beating her into the ground. But Sakura had an obsession now with knowing her weaknesses and trying to learn to compensate for them. She relished the challenge and the first time she was able to use her chakra-control to open a Tenketsu point Neji had shut down, she was almost giddy with achievement at the look on his face when she punched him in the face.

Naruto and Lee had developed a rivalry. Gai approved of the rivalry of the teachers being passed on to their students and told them so. This probably enticed the members of team 7 to cement what would become intense rivalries with the members of team 10 which would last their lives. 

Gai was giddy with joy, team 7 was _so_ youthful, just like his Eternal Rival had been. Realizing that they were trying to be like Kakashi endeared them to the Green Beast and he swore to his deceased Eternal Rival that he’d do his best to help team 7 land on their feet and become a team worthy of having had Kakashi as a teacher even if Kakshi was not their teacher any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please my pretties, leave some comments and kudos 🙌 🙋
> 
> Tell me what you loved, what you hated and what you were indifferent to.


	7. A Mission

They were sparring in a free for all battle, when a ninja in a Chunin vest Shunshined into the vicinity. Immediately, they were all facing him, kunai drawn defensively. 

The Chunin bared his teeth in a grin, 'Twitchy, aren't you?'

The boys bristled. 

'Who the hell are you?' demanded Naruto, as he lowered his kunai, but didn't sheathe it. 

The Chunin dug into his vest and smirked as they twitched again at the movement. He produced a scroll from his pocket and tossed it at Naruto. 'You've been assigned a mission.' With that he immediately disappeared in a flurry of leaves. 

Naruto hastily unrolled the scroll. Sasuke and Sakura were on either side in a flash. It was assigned a D-rank like all the missions they'd been taking recently. 

'At least it isn't painting fences or catching cats.' Sasuke grumbled.

* * *

They were in the forest surrounding the village. In his desire to do something other than paint fences or catch cats, Sasuke had led them through the trees at a fast pace. They were all panting by the time they stopped at a clearing and looked slightly incredulously at the destruction: trees had been snapped cleanly into two, and deep furrows lead deeper into the forest. 

'What in the world could create furrows like that?' Sakura asked nervously. 

Sasuke had a familiar gleam in his eye, 'Let's find out,' as he bent his legs in order to spring back into the trees and follow the strange tracks. 

Naruto grabbed his arm. 'Hold on, it looks pretty big, whatever it is. We should make a plan before we rush in.'

Sakura, who had tensed to follow Sasuke, nodded in relieved agreement.

* * *

They ended up sending a Naruto clone to investigate and report back. While they were waiting for the clone to return, Sasuke paced in excited impatience, and Naruto sat besides Sakura underneath a tree and started regaling her with the story of the finest prank he had pulled off and how Iruka had caught up to him before anyone else-

They were interrupted by kunai rushing towards them. Sasuke, who was on his feet, reacted instantly and withdrew one of his own to parry, Sharingan activating instinctively. He tried to cover Naruto and Sakura as far as he could. Naruto and Sakura in turn tried desperately to roll out of range. Sakura ended up behind the tree they'd been sitting under and Naruto sprung into the branches. Neither had escaped unscathed: Sakura had a kunai digging into her back and one in her thigh, Naruto had kunai sticking out of a bicep. He impatiently drew the kunai out and willed the Fox to heal him, as he crossed his fingers into the Kage Bunshin seal which was now an instinctive reaction every time he was in a fight. He sent some to watch Sakura because he could smell her blood. Others he sent to cover Sasuke and finally, he switched his own position with a clone so that he was out of direct range of the kunai as well. 

Sakura was trembling from fear and pain. She was completely incapacitated, blood leaking from her wounds, a kunai dangerously close to her femoral artery and another to her spine. It was barely a few seconds into the fight, and they were facing an unknown enemy who was good enough to have masked their presence from all three of them. 

Sasuke was glad for the clones that had jumped between him and the assailant. It galled to admit it, but the stream of kunai was too thick to completely dodge on his own. As soon as he was sure Naruto and Sakura were not in the direct trajectory of the kunai, he too sprang about to change his position to not be such a sitting target. He had just leapt to a side, out of the path of the stream of kunai when he saw one of the assailants finally emerge from out of the cover of the trees. He didn't have any moment to react, she threw a kunai directly at his face, and though he tried to avoid it, it still slashed his cheek and he felt blood drip down his face. His eyes widened as he realized she'd used the kunai as distraction to Shunshin behind him. He immediately began to turn, hurling out a fist to catch her, but she grabbed his arm and when he'd finished the turn, she put a rock hard fist into his stomach. Only her grip in his arm kept him from collapsing. She leant down and her tongue licked at his slashed cheek, gathering the blood drop that'd been trailing down. Despite his breathlessness, he shuddered. Then she brought her mouth closer to his ear and hissed, 

'I expected better, but I guess the rumors paint too good a picture of you. You'll never measure up to Itachi.'

Sasuke's eyes flashed a brighter shade of red, Sharingan whirling furiously as he looked up at her. He attempted to break free of her hold, but she merely flung her other arm in his face and he was suddenly staring at several hundred writhing snakes. He reared back in instinctive fear and a loathing for their reptilian yellow eyes, the blood-curdling hissing and the unnatural slithering. It was no use, within seconds his body was the surface they were slithering over. She let go of his arm and he stumbled back from her, tripped because of the snakes binding his legs together, fell onto his bottom and then his back as the snakes overwhelmed his senses. He wanted to burn these bloody crawlers to a crisp, but they'd trapped his hands and he couldn't bring his hands together to form any seals. They'd even covered his face and he felt a burst of panic as they attempted to slither into his mouth, eyes and nostrils. Soon he too was writhing on the ground, burying his face into the dirt in an attempt at dislodging them. 

Naruto had just switched with a clone, so he was covered by some thick bushes. He took a second to look at his wound and tried moving his arm. It didn't feel too bad. The Fox was doing his job. He was just about to jump into the fray with Sasuke when he noticed an attacker Shunshin behind Sasuke and throw snakes into his face. His shadow clones attempted to reach Sasuke and help him out, but the woman threw senbon at them and those that got too close to Sasuke were struck by the snakes that were slithering all over him. It was a horrible sight, he could hardly see Sasuke for all the snakes. He tried to jump in but froze as he realized his feet wouldn't move. He glanced down and noticed more snakes, their bodies winding around his feet and the surrounding branches, trapping him there. One of them reared up and bared his fangs at Naruto and in a burst of primitive loathing for anything crawling, Naruto raised a kunai and attempted to slash at it. He was distracted at a snake falling onto his face from the tree above. It moved incredibly fast, twisting it's sinuous body around his neck. He dropped his kunai and brought his hands up to his neck to prevent it from choking him. More snakes crawled onto him and began winding around his arms and torso. Soon he too was on the ground, attempting to break free from the dark reptiles, panic blinding him as they tried to crawl into his eyes and mouth and nostrils. 

While Naruto and Sasuke struggled, the woman slowly approached the tree behind which Sakura was hidden from immediate sight, surrounded by a circle of Naruto clones that all had kunai drawn. Sakura didn't move. She pressed her shoulder and uninjured side against the tree for support to remain standing as the footsteps drew ever closer and clutched the kunai in her hands more tightly. She saw some of the clones, not hidden from the attacker's immediate sight dispel and noticed senbon fall to the ground where they disappeared in clouds of upward-moving white smoke. She began trembling. She hated herself for it. But she couldn't stop. She could hear Naruto and Sasuke struggling somewhere behind her though they were muted, as if their mouths were shut tightly. As the last of the clones disappeared and the attacker's steps were almost at the tree, she tensed, closed her eyes and lunged with her kunai poised to sink into anything it could find. The attacker dodged easily and she fell at their feet. Her wounds jolted as she fell to her knees and her back curved. She felt the kunai shift in her skin and spurts of blood gush out. She almost blacked out from the pain, but cried out as she was grabbed by her hair and pulled back up, jolting the wounds with the kunai again. The next she knew, she was being held up, her feet not touching the ground, staring into a face. The lips twisted to show all teeth and the eyes were as hard, cold and alien as a reptile's. 

'And you're the one that got Kakashi killed. Can't say I'm surprised.'

Sakura was barely conscious by this point, but it still stung and she felt more tears leak from her eyes. She hadn't realized she'd already been crying. 

The snakes dragged Naruto out of the bushes, and Sasuke closer. Both were tied securely, mouths filled with snake so they couldn't speak, but their eyes were wide open now, and a familiar panic in their gut and bones. Naruto bit down viciously upon the snakes in his mouth and to his immense satisfaction, they disappeared in a puff of smoke. 

'Let her go, can't you see she's hurt?!' he burst out, blue eyes wide open, looking intently at the woman, trying to make her stop with the force of his gaze. 

She looked back at him, pearly teeth flashing on a face framed with dark hair. 'That's the point.' 

She thrust her arm into Sakura's face and again hissing snakes emerged and began to slither onto the girl. Sakura shuddered and attempted to beat them off with her arms. The woman turned back to her, grabbed two skinny wrists in one of her hands and held them up over the girl's head. The snakes spread onto her arms, twisting and turning, reaching for the low hanging branches of the tree. When the woman let go of her hands and hair, Sakura's hands were tied together and she hung limply from the tree, blood from her wounds dripping down her legs and onto the ground below. 

The woman turned to face Naruto and smiled, hand fondling a the grip of a kunai. 'You dispelled some of my snakes without permission. This is punishment for that.' She turned back to Sakura and slashed the kunai slowly down her arm, from her wrist to her armpit. Immediately, bright blood welled up, pooled along the cut and then all of a sudden began to flow and soak into Sakura's red dress.

Naruto's face turned white and he stopped struggling against the snakes. Sasuke renewed his struggle, wide-eyes and desperate, Sharingan spinning, spinning, spinning. Anko turned to him. 

'Uhh, uhh, uhhh!' he gasped through a mouthful of snake, shaking his head. 

'This one for your incompetence.' she told him. 

She crossed over and slashed Sakura's other arm. Again, she took her time, sliding the kunai down slowly. 

Naruto blinked, two drops of clear water falling from his eyes and when he opened them again, his pupils were red and his chakra was roiling. 

The woman snapped her head back to him and then held the kunai to Sakura's throat.

'If either of you move, I'll cut her throat.'

Naruto trembled, but didn't move. Sasuke remained frozen, staring at the blood dripping to the ground, and remembering a dark night filled with other blood dripping off a katana and other people sliced so their blood pooled onto the dirt like that. 

They stayed there like that, the woman watching the boys with flinty black eyes, the boys watching Sakura with desperate red eyes and Sakura with half-lidded green eyes, sinking closer to a welcoming blackness, away from pain.

They remained deadlocked for a few more seconds. Then the woman raised her hand, and all the snakes trapping Naruto and Sasuke reared up at once and sank their fangs into any parts of their bodies they could reach. Twin howls of pain echoed through the clearing, alarming the birds in nearby trees to flight.

The woman waved a hand and all the snakes disappeared in a giant puff of smoke that occluded both boys for a few seconds. When it was gone, the woman bent down to their prone bodies. 

'You've just been injected with a very large quantity of paralyzing poison. Now you can slowly watch you teammate bleed to death as you remain paralyzed and unable to help. Goodbye! It was nice playing you, though you were all a bit dull, to tell you the truth.'

She was gone in a Shunshin leaving behind a few leaves that drifted slowly down to the ground.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please my pretties, leave some comments and kudos 🙌 🙋
> 
> Tell me what you loved, what you hated and what you were indifferent to.


	8. Anko Sensei

Sasuke woke up in the hospital. 

He was terrified to find that he could not move. 

Sakura sat at his bedside, Naruto was curled up on his mattress. They were talking quietly. 

He tried to make a sound, a movement, anything to let them know that he was stuck. But he couldn't and they continued talking without noticing the panic he was in. He tried and tried, but his body was too heavy. He couldn't lift his head, or his arm, or even twitch his fingers. Every hard breath felt like it would be his last, because an invisible weight sat on his chest, immobilizing him, paralyzing his lungs. He trashed in his head, but his body remained immobile as stone. Tears of frustration and panic leaked from his eyes.

It was the glint of the light off his tears that finally caught Naruto's eye.

In an instant, he was raised from his prone position by Naruto's arm, his head lolling against Naruto's shoulder. 

"You're alright! The healer said you might panic. But there's no need to worry. You were injected with a paralyzer, it should wear off in a few hours." Sakura spoke in a hurried rush, scrambling on to the bed on her knees, her face angled to remain in front of his eyes.

Sasuke blinked in relief and tears rushed down his cheeks. Naruto wiped them away quickly. 

"Don't worry teme! I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

Sasuke wanted to throw his arm off and shoot back a venomous retort, but all he could move was his eyelids.

* * *

It turned out that Naruto had been able to fight off the snake-venom with the help of his 'tenant'. He'd created shadow clones, rushed to bind Sakura's wounds and then carried them to Konoha General as fast as he could. His voice was somber as he told the tale. 

Sasuke tried not to think of the desperation Naruto must have felt if he was not even willing to rub-in how he had saved Sasuke's life.

* * *

Naruto had recovered within hours and Sakura within the next day, but it took three days for them to be discharged from the hospital. Sasuke remained under observation during that time and after Sakura stabbed a healer who tried to remove her from the room while she was asleep, no one asked Naruto and Sakura to leave.

During this time, Naruto made a nuisance of himself as he tried to check and re-check their wounds. The rubbing-in and boasting did come- once Sasuke was able to move, and Sakura's bandages came off.

* * *

They were summoned to the Hokage's tower.

As they entered they all froze for a moment when they found the woman who had left them to die in the forest there. She glanced at them with her black flinty eyes and grinned to reveal sharp teeth. 

In eerie coordination, Naruto and Sasuke pounced at her with kunai drawn, mouths twisted to reveal teeth. 

Sakura stumbled back with fingers locked in the Ram seal. 

By the time Naruto and Sasuke landed, the woman whirling away to avoid them, Sakura had drawn the woman into a single layer of balance-affecting genjutsu. 

With a signature pop and white smoke, several Naruto clones blinked into existence, caging the woman. 

She stumbled slightly as she turned to hurl senbon at them and Sasuke's kunai sliced across her cheek as he charged at her again. 

Sakura's fingers twisted into the horse seal and she used the smoke from the dispersal of Naruto clones to weave another layer of genjutsu affecting the woman's sight and hiding Sasuke as he landed behind the woman again. 

There was a pause where the woman straightened. She tilted her head and looked straight at Sakura as she licked the blood from her own cheek with a tongue that was longer than normal. 

In the next second, she was in front of Sakura reaching for her neck. 

Sakura hastily switched with one of the Naruto clones that appeared as Naruto performed his signature jutsu again. The clone popped as the woman pushed a senbon into its neck. But by the time it was too late, as the woman began to turn, Sasuke landed on her back and used all his momentum to drive a kunai into the back of her neck. 

There was a moment where everything was still as the woman collapsed. Then, as Sasuke landed back between his team-mates on the opposite side of the room, all three of them panting, slow mocking clapping began. They turned their heads to see the woman emerge again from the shadows, the clone they'd fought turning into an unidentifiable mass of white flesh that reeked. 

"You were able to defeat my clone. Nicely done!" she stopped clapping and grinned her maniac grin again.

Sasuke's sharingan re-activated and Naruto and Sakura began their hand seals again, but before they could begin again, the Hokage cleared his throat loudly and rose from the pavilion he was seated on. 

"I see you have met each other." he remarked as he moved to stand between them and the woman. 

"This is Mitarashi Anko. She has agreed to be your temporary sensei." he told Team 7.

Naruto stared at the Hokage in shock. "What? She almost killed us in the forest!"

"Oh that, that was just a test to see if you were worthy of being my team!" Mitarashi Anko flashed her canines again. 

Naruto made a noise deep in his throat and tried to jump at her again, "A test! I almost lost my team because of you." 

Sakura gripped the back of Naruto's collar to stop him from rushing at the woman again.

Anko looked at Sakura with her head tilted again. "Wouldn't have been a great loss."

Sakura's hand shook, and Naruto raised his hands to make seals, but the Hokage cleared his throat again.

"Anko." he said firmly.

Anko glanced at the Hokage and her face blanked. 

"We meet in Training Ground 3 every morning at 6. Don't be late." she told Team 7. She turned to the Hokage and bowed, "Hokage-sama." Then she was gone.

* * *


	9. Strategy I

They approach the safe house as stealthily as they can.

It's on the top of a hill, shining in golden glow of the setting sun. The bottom of the hill, where they're hidden in the trees, is already covered in dark elongated shadows. 

Without breathing a word, they continue to approach. The trees grow sparser as they climb uphill and it becomes harder to hide. It's Naruto's hideous orange clothing that gives them away. 

A kunai comes whizzing through the trees towards Naruto, who bats it away with one of his own, and at once, Team 7 falls into a defensive formation with Naruto at the tip and Sasuke and Sakura flanking him. 

"I swear I'm going to destroy your neon costume the second this ends." Sasuke mutters.

"Hey! This-" they never find out what Naruto meant to say because at the moment he turns his head to snipe back at Sasuke, a kunai comes flying at him.

"Naruto!" Sakura's sudden scream gives away their last hope for stealth. She tackles Naruto away and the kunai catches her on side of the neck.

The quiet after her scream seems to freeze them all. Naruto and Sasuke stand dumb-founded as blood pours from Sakura's neck and her chakra fluctuates crazily. She collapses gracelessly and Naruto has to dive to catch her before she hits the ground. 

He puts his hands helplessly on her neck and tries to stem the flow of blood. Crimson blood leaks from between his fingers. He fumbles, shock giving way to rage as he raises bloodshot eyes to glare at the ninja in front of him. 

"You..." his growl is cut off as Sasuke grabs his shoulder.

Sasuke's words are frantic. "Shut up teme! We need to get her to a med-nin."

Naruto looks confused for a moment before his eyes turn back to blue. Then he nods and mechanically winds a bandage around Sakura's neck, hoists her up and without another glance at the speechless ninja, turns and jumps back into the trees, Sasuke following him immediately.


	10. Strategy II

The team of ninja left behind stared after the disappearing team in frozen shock for a moment. 

Then Tenten burst out, "I thought he would dodge it. I didn't think Sakura would rush in."

"It's not your fault Tenten" Lee told her. He sounded unsure.

"She is competent enough to dodge it." Neji, who partnered with Sakura during their combined training, mused. "She should have been able to dodge the kunai."

"Do you think it had something to do with their sensei?" Tenten asked hesitantly.

They all paused. 

Team Gai learnt that bringing up Kakashi was a sure-fire way to clam up Team 7. They didn't know the story of what had happened on Team 7's wave mission. What they did know was that Team 7 were obsessed with keeping each other safe.

"Let's go make sure Sakura-san in alright." Lee said, ignoring the question entirely. 

They all jumped into the trees and chased after Team 7.

Just as they reached the edge of the forest, and were about to drop into the open clearing ahead, Neji came to an abrupt stop a held up a hasty hand to make his teammates stop as well. Tenten stopped, but Lee charged ahead into the clearing.

As Lee landed, Neji suddenly turned to look back the way they had come, white eyes almost glowing as his veins pulsed and pushed chakra into them. He raised a hand, and slashed at the log that came flying at then, just as Tenten jumped to a higher branch to escape the log. The log splintered into two around Neji and flew past him, making his hair wave in the after-wind. Neji panted slightly, brute expulsion of chakra to break something as solid as a log was hard on the body. 

He didn't get a chance to catch his breath, the splintered pieces of the log abruptly changed direction in mid-air and began to head towards Tenten. Neji jumped just as Tenten was knocked off her branch and caught her in mid-air. Her weight pulled them down faster than Neji had calculated and they slammed into a lower branch instead of landing cleanly. 

Tenten scrambled onto her feet, immediately pulling herself away from Neji, and drawing her scrolls. She began to look around wildly. 

Lee was on the floor of the clearing, twitching violently but apparently unconscious. Something hard fell and dropped in her stomach, "Neji, there's something wrong with Lee." 

Neji stood too, eyes glowing further as he tried to look back further the way they had come. Without turning his head, he said, "He's under a genjutsu. Team Seven set up traps. You free him, I'll check back at the safe house. They planned to draw us away from the scroll, and they succeeded."

He crouched and jumped and was gone before Tenten could say anything.

* * *

While he was still 50 meters away from the safe-house, Neji's frown deepened as he realized that the place was crawling with Naruto clones. Some of them were in a perimeter in the trees at the foot of the hill, more still along the slopes of the hill and a final ring around the house itself. More still were inside the house itself, running about, looking everywhere for the scroll. Sakura and Sasuke were waiting at the entrance.

Suddenly there was a frenzy, all the clones in the house crowding around one, who was holding the scroll. Neji sped up.

As he passed past the clones on the foot of the hill, dispelling the ones in his way with precise shocks of chakra, the rest of the clones swarmed down on him. He spent precious minutes breaking free: he had to dispel all of the clones before he could move on. It was the same with the next layer of clones halfway up the hill. 

Neji thought longingly of Tenten and her numerous weapons. He thought he might even be able to stand Lee yammering on and on if he kicked the clones around.

He didn't even reach the ring of clones around the house. The clones swarmed him again and again, until two of them were smart enough to grab his arms and keep him from dispelling their comrades. In the end, Neji found himself tied to a tree, veins around his eyes protruding ever more with fury at being captured by the horde of clones and being unable to move. 

When he was finally able to take a moment to look up at the house, Sasuke and Sakura had disappeared.

* * *

_An hour before:_

Team 7 was crouched in a circle on a forest floor. 

"That's it," Sakura said, drawing a final line in the dirt with her chakra clad finger.

Sasuke scoffed disbelievingly, "The whole strategy is to engage, then pull back?"

Sakura brushed at her knees as she stood up and scowled. "No, we just pretend to pull back."

"How's that going to help us get the scroll?" Naruto stood too, eyebrows furrowed. 

"We'll draw them out as we pull back."

"But why would they leave the safe house to chase after us?" Naruto asked. 

"Because we'll convince them to. Using genjutsu."

"What's that going to accomplish?" Sasuke asked as he leant against a nearby tree, and crossed his arms.

"While they chase us, Naruto's clones flood the place and steal the scroll, hide it and then dispel to let us know where it is. Then we retrieve it."

Sasuke straightened, "They wouldn't expect that. But what if they break out of the genjutsu before the clones escape?" 

"We try to draw them into the wire trap before they can break out. Then put them into another dirty genjutsu. The final defense is one-on-one battle while the clones escape. But try not to let it get to that point." Sakura said, checking over her gear one final time before they all set off in the direction of the safe-house.


	11. Meal

As they'd been doing for the past few months, Team 7 and Team 9 went for a meal after their joint training ended. 

It had started when, during their first week training together, Sakura had passed out while training. She'd awoken, disconcerted to find herself on the grass with no idea of how she got there, to find Sasuke staring at her with that same blank look that she had grown to loathe and crave. Gai, concerned that Sakura was underweight and not taking care of herself, had decided to take her for a meal and make sure she ate.

Naruto (eagerly) and Sasuke (grudgingly) had tagged along. Lee ended up coming because Naruto's declaration that he could eat more could not be allowed to stand. Tenten came to watch the fun: Sakura resentfully being force-fed while Naruto and Lee happily ate themselves into a stupor. She pulled at Neji's sleeve as they were leaving the training ground; he frowned, looked up at the sky with a sigh, but followed. 

Since then, Sakura had gained weight and muscle. She needed to be fit if she wanted to keep up with her team, that was motivation enough to make sure she ate. But the routine had stuck. Naruto's and Lee's challenges had shifted from who could eat more to who could eat 3 bowls faster. (This happened when Naruto ran out of money and tried to ask Sasuke to lend him some, so he could continue his challenges with Lee. That conversation had ended with Sasuke burning Naruto's eyebrows off. He had been aiming to set the whole of his blond menace of a team-mate on fire, but Naruto's reflexes were improving since he got kicked around by Lee a lot.)

But the routine had stuck and after their latest mock mission ended, they all ended up at Teuchi's. 

Once Lee and Naruto had finished their challenge (Naruto always won when they ate ramen), Lee crossed his arms and pouted slightly. "I can't believe you tricked us to win the mission."

The others continued eating at their sedate paces. 

Naruto thumped Lee on the back. "The score is 4 to 3 now, bushy-brows! You're falling behind."

"I don't think the way you won was very youthful."

Tenten rolled her eyes. "We're ninja Lee, deception is the trade."

Lee looked away, "I don't like it. It seems dishonest."

Sakura's chopsticks clattered against her bowl. Everyone turned to look at her. Her hands were shaking, rattling her chopsticks against her bowl. Her head was lowered and they couldn't catch her expression.

Sasuke snatched the chopsticks from her hand impatiently and glared at Lee. "I'm sure when one of your teammates dies for your honor in battle, you'll see the value in being dishonest." 

There was a shocked silence.

"I didn't mean-" Lee began, but Sakura's shaky voice cut him off.

"It was the plan with the lowest probability of enemy engagement and team injury." She dropped her hands onto her lap to hide the shaking. 

There was another moment of silence. Then Sakura looked up, directly at Lee. Her pupils were elongated, as they were whenever she was ready for a fight. Her voice was harsher, firmer when she continued, "And almost perfect probability of success, given your penchant for jumping into unknown situations with high confidence and low caution."

Spots of bright pink appeared high on Lee's cheeks. 

Sakura calmly took her chopsticks back from Sasuke and resumed eating.

* * *

Later that evening, they collapsed onto the grass near the memorial stone. As they fought to catch their breath, Naruto suddenly burst into laughter.

"Did you see bushy-brows' face when Sakura-chan's scarier side told him off?"

He poked his index finder into Sakura's shoulder. "His face was pinker than your hair, I swear."

Sasuke sat up. "I thought the med-nin told you not to shift?" He asked Sakura.

Sakura sat up too, hands rising reflexively to push through her hair. She had impulsively shorn it at the base of her head and she loved the way it made her feel. She knew that just cutting her hair short changed nothing, but she felt different somehow, like she was some other person and not that old Sakura with the well-kept long hair.

"It's hard to stop shifting to Inner. When I feel overwhelmed, she takes over. It helps me deal with situations that I can't deal with."

"It's weird to see you shift from meek to bold in a second. What does it feel like?" Naruto asked, turning towards her and supporting his head on his palm. 

"It's like... I lock all my doubts into a small box and lose the box somewhere in my mind so I can't see them. Then I have some information and an outcome I want. It's easy to cut my way through to the outcome just using logic, when fear and doubt are not clouding my mind."

"That sounds crazy." Naruto's serious blue eyes bore into hers.

She slapped him lightly and he smiled as he dodged. "It's not crazy. It just... makes the world more distant, smaller, less colorful, easier to navigate through."

"If you can be strong all the time, why do you shift to the weaker personality at all?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura shrugged. "It slips when I'm calm or peaceful. And it's nice to feel some things. Like the sun, or the color of the sky or eating a nice meal with Team Gai after a tiring day."

Sasuke scoffed. 

Sakura's pupils narrowed. "Do you have something to say?" she asked, drawing a kunai. 

In the next instant, the three of them had fallen into defensive stances. Then Sakura launched herself at Sasuke and Naruto tried to tackle her and the sparring began again.


	12. Training with Anko

Anko was waiting for her at training ground 42. It was one of the smallest and most secluded training grounds in Konoha, filled with huge trees, large insects and fenced out from the rest of the world. 

"You're almost late."

Sakura dodged the senbon that accompanied the words, and the other two that followed the first one, but allowed the last one to puncture her bicep. 

"You're slower today. It'll be a nice little session!" 

"What is it?" Sakura asked woodenly.

"It's a hallucinogen. Targets the irrational mind. Brings all kinds of fear front and centre."

Sakura's heart dropped.

"I like it when you look like I kicked your kitten." Anko grinned. 

Inner tried to take over, even though Sakura resisted. She spent the next few moments shifting and changing her posture as her pupils narrowed and dilated. Anko watched. When Sakura finally settled, panting and a furious Inner raging in her head, Anko pouted. 

"I was waiting for that bitch. I have a special something for her." 

Inner froze, then started screaming with rage, rattling at the cage Sakura had locked her in, calling Anko things that Sakura didn't know she knew.

"Never mind. I'm sure I'll meet her some other time. Today we are reviewing torture and interrogation again, while you're under the influence of that hallucinogen." Anko gestured towards a tree whose bark had been mutilated. "You know the drill."

Sakura's heart started pounding as she walked to the tree and allowed herself to be tied to it. 

"Did you read the scroll from earlier today?" Anko asked as she wound ninja wire around Sakura's torso, keeping her arms locked to her sides, then slowly made her way down till her legs were bound as well.

Sakura nodded, careful to not look Anko in the eye.

"The mission is to keep that information a secret, while I try to extract it." She grabbed Sakura's short hair at the base of her head and pulled so her head was tilted upwards. "Look at me when I talk to you." she said.

Sakura nodded again, looking into Anko's eyes, Anko's dead eyes, Anko's cold eyes. Anko who hurt and hurt and hurt her. Anko who tied her to trees and cut at her. Anko who poisoned her to build an immunity. Anko who found every little weakness and prodded at it until Sakura was ready to break, but was forced to get rid of the weakness instead.

"If you fail, I'll go after your two little boyfriends. I heard the blond one heals very fast. Imagine how much fun I could have, playing with him."

Sakura didn't want to imagine, but she could do so with a clarity that horrified her. Naruto's cuts healing seconds after they were made, him hurting and healing with no blissful darkness at the end. She could hear him scream and cry as Anko stood over his tied body,kunai and senbon and blood moving. It was so real, she could see the drops of blood jostling the long blades of grass they fell on. 

"Or the dark haired one. I've heard Uchiha have the sweetest blood. I'm curious to find out if it's true."

It was Sasuke now, tied to the tree. Eyes incandescent with rage, but helpless as a bird. And despite his rage, he still bled freely and hurt deeply. 

Sakura had started sobbing, but she didn't know it. Anko was still talking, but she didn't know it. She was locked in a place were Naruto and Sakura howled with pain and bled out while she tried and tried but couldn't stop it. Her hands were stained red with their blood and her ears rang from their screams. 

She felt a hand on her shoulder, tripped over in panic as she turned. Her shoulder had been keeping Kakashi upright. As she took the support away, he collapsed sideways, senbon in the side of his neck. His masked face remained in darkness, but she could smell rot and death from his body.

She vomited and passed out.

* * *

Sakura woke up alone in training ground 42. 

There was a bright moon overhead, and a soft wind whistling through the trees. A black insect, the size of her pinkie, was rooting about in a cut on her leg. She shuddered and jumped to her feet. It remained put on her leg. She slapped it away with a chakra coated hand in panic, pieces of it went flying through the air. She rubbed her hand on a nearby tree and ran on shaky legs towards the centre of Konoha.

When she let herself in to her parents' house, Naruto and Sasuke, who were eating dinner, wrinkled their noses at her appearance and smell. She ignored them and rushed to take a hot bath.

Naruto found her an hour later curled up on her bed, clad in a wet bathrobe, and bawling her eyes out. He made sure she dressed and ate, then gathered her into his arms and let her cry till she fell asleep, like he always did.

* * *

Sakura was jolted awake from a nightmare where Kakashi's rotting body fell on her. She sat up abruptly, jostling Naruto. 

Naruto rolled over sleepily and bumped into Sasuke, who rolled out of bed to stand defensively with a kunai in his hand, and a wild look in his eyes. He saw Sakura's tear-stained face and Naruto spread-eagled and snoring, made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat and threw the kunai handle deep into the wall. 

That finally woke Naruto who scratched at his armpit, rubbed at his eyes and then sat up slowly. He glanced from Sakura to Sasuke, then at the kunai in the wall.

"Training session, eh?" he asked, running a hand tiredly through his hair.

Sasuke left the room without another word. Sakura grabbed clean training gear and went to the bathroom to change. Naruto flopped back onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

* * *

"What is that crazy snake woman having you do?" Naruto asked after their training session when they'd collapsed into bed again. 

Sakura was loose-limbed and relaxed after the training session. Trying to beat the boys and avoid getting beaten herself, finding her strengths and whittling down on her weaknesses, stretching her muscles and using her body together with her mind. It was wonderful, her body ached in the best ways and her mind was quieter. She was tired out and close to sleep. It was easy to talk in this state.

"She's helping me develop immunity to common poisons, and building my mental strength."

"What does building mental strength mean?"

"It means she puts me in simulations of tough situations and gives me an objective to accomplish."

"What kinds of situations?"

"Torture & Interrogation mostly, because that's what she knows best."

Naruto suddenly sat up. Sakura's eyes opened. He looked down at her.

"So the cuts you have after training with her... She deliberately hurts you?"

Sakura waved a hand and then grabbed Naruto's collar and pulled him back down.

"I told you, it's training. Different than normal, but still training. And it's making me stronger."

"She's crazy, I don't like her. What if she really hurt you?" Naruto asked, allowing himself to be pulled onto his back, but turning his head to look at her.

"She can't. I won't let her." Sakura said.

"Can you losers have your heart-to-heart at a time when I'm not trying to sleep?" Sasuke grumbled, turning around to glare at Naruto.

Naruto ruffled Sasuke's bedraggled hair. 

"You have have a turn if you're feeling left out teme."

Sasuke slapped away Naruto's hand. "If you touch my hair again, I'll cut your hand off."

Naruto's hand swooped in and touched Sasuke's hair again. "I don't think you can match my speed."

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's hand, and tried to flip him off the bed. Naruto grabbed his arm in turn and pulled him along. They both fell onto the floor with a thump.

"If you guys want to wrestle, get out. Don't destroy the room again. I'm trying to sleep here."

Sakura peered over the edge of the bed and showed them two senbon between her fingers, the tips coated in something dark. 

"Or I can put you both to sleep on the floor. You know I won't miss at this range."

Naruto and Sasuke glowered at her, but disentangled themselves and climbed back into bed quietly.

* * *


End file.
